Trying this again...

Taking a break from Boston this weekend by being in Florida, which I think is really good for me. Not only is it nice to experience temperatures greater than 30 degrees, but the past couple weeks have been incredibly confusing and I really felt like I just needed to get on a plane and have self reflection time away from my home. Being in Florida almost facilitates that in a way because being with my dad reminds me of a lot of things from my past since the house here is full of random high school and childhood memories and memorabilia that have been transplanted from Virginia. I have started bringing my viola here too and practicing after dinner was so oddly comforting for me tonight - a routine I used to have every day from ages 11 to 18.

It's interesting looking back on my last post which I really only wrote about a month and a half ago, because I felt like I had so much clarity then, and now things have gotten confusing awfully fast. The past couple weeks have been extremely revealing in just how difficult it is going to be for me in my life and my future to balance a relationship with my own needs, my friends, and of course my career. My desire to travel and shift cities every couple of years while I can is completely at odds with his desire to stay in just one city. Compromise is proving exceedingly difficult, and I have found myself questioning this more often in the past couple weeks than I perhaps ever have. I am trying to follow my gut, instead of trying to balance my head and my heart, since those take me in completely different directions.

I feel like I am at a crossroads, both with my career and with my relationship. There are any number of permutations this situation could take, and these past couple weeks have been an emotional roller coaster as I've attempted to navigate my feelings and balance them with distractions I know are nothing but bad for me. Thinking about the types of distractions I gravitate to also makes me worried about reversion to the type of person I was in college - so outwardly self confident, academically sound, and perfectly social, but deeply insecure when it came to guys. I am not sure that part of me has gone away; it may just be buried deeper these days, and it's really unnerving when it resurfaces, causing me to be giggly and buoyant one moment and so unbelievably frustrated and upset the next. I know that part of life is learning to weather these emotions so my resolve going back to Boston is to let the chips fall where they may and not try to force anything one way or the other.

I think that perhaps moving to Australia is the only way to gain clarity on this situation, and that's why I've set things in motion for that type of move about 10 months from now. I think that by doing so, though, I am also finally coming to terms with the fact that this one move by no means solves some of these greater issues that are causing me to toss and turn at night more than usual these days. A permanent place to settle down? The need to settle down at all? Timing of marriage/kids? Deciding right now to be with one person for the rest of your life, or wanting to make sure it's right by having other experiences first? Balancing your career with someone else's? All seem like entirely unanswerable questions.

So I will just let time run its course and see what happens. In the meantime, I resolve to try to go back to work with a clear head on Monday for my new case and not get distracted by things completely out of my control and realm of understanding.

Year in Review: 2010

I wrote the following on the plane while going to Australia a couple weeks ago:

Well hello blog…it’s been quite a while. Like so many things that I used to do regularly in my life before I started working, it was so easy to let writing slip. But today I was talking with a good friend from work who mentioned how hilarious it would be if I wrote about all my baking and eating (while traveling) adventures, and I realized oh yeah, I actually did that for the last two years of college! So I opened up this blog and realized that at the very least, I can write a “year in review” entry for the eighth year in a row. It was a pretty fantastic trip down memory lane to look back on my blog entries from 2009 – the craziness of Duke, the excitement of a new relationship, the charm of Venice, the return to Australia, the move to Boston. One thing I was wrong about, though, was the expectation that 2010 would be a less fun and carefree year. Worried about my long distance relationship and the prospect of having to work all the time, I suppose it was natural to be apprehensive, but I have been pleasantly surprised by just how incredible a year this has been. True, there have been frustrations, long nights, difficult family situations, and moments of questioning, but overall, this has been an amazing year of self discovery and learning in all aspects of my life.

Some highlights:
- Work ski trip, where I first realized how close I would become to my peers and how incredibly fulfilling it is to work in an environment that is so social and friendly (other highlights would then be the 17 other social events that occurred…haha)
- Those funny managers and competent consultants that made the difficult cases bearable, kind of like laughing at everything when you are doing a problem set at 1 or 2 in the morning
- Travel to Australia and London and France and all the exotic perks of having an international boyfriend with an amazing family
- Discovering how my passion for travel can have a business outlet in learning about airlines and beginning to understand where I want to direct my career (baby steps, but it’s a start)
- Realizing that, at least at this point in my life, business travel is almost as fun as leisure travel. Living in hotels, playing the points game, earning status, getting everything paid for…nothing wrong with that!
- Seeing each member of my immediate family begin to move on with his/her life – be it moving to a different place or (finally!!!) selling my childhood home, which helped me realize how unimportant material things truly are
- All my trips to NYC and Duke and other places to see friends and have fabulous weekends catching up over fantastic food
- My fairly luxurious lifestyle in Boston which I have 100% provided for myself, which makes it all the sweeter
- Developing some genuinely close friendships with beautiful, strong, and diverse women at work who I hope to keep in touch with throughout our careers, wherever they may lead

As I went back over entries from this blog in the past year, it was illuminating and reaffirming how my words from months ago still resonate so strongly with me. My love of airports, airplanes, traveling, and genuine passion for discovery of new places through food and culture is every bit as strong today as it was a year ago. True, having a day to day job can constrain some aspects of this, but as I sit on this plane on the first leg of my four part journey to Bali (eeeee!!!), I am utterly content in the knowledge that I can still control the aspects of my life that bring me the greatest joy.

Now that I have lived independently in Boston for a full year, I have discovered a lot about myself and how I function in a relationship as well as on my own. I feel that I kept my resolution from last year of trying to constantly see the positive side of situations. The goodbyes in my relationship actually have gotten less painful as I have grown used to being apart rather than being together. Of course, questioning of what I want in life personally and professionally resulted from distance as well. I learned that life is not without temptation, but now realize that temptation and obstacles are probably put there for a reason and to teach me something either about myself or how I view my relationships. I think that over the course of the year, I grew more able to fully understand my strengths and weaknesses both at work and in my personal life, and by understanding them, my hope and resolve in the new year is to come up with the most effective strategies for working through them. As I head into what are sure to be two incredible weeks full of romance and discovery in Bali, Perth, and Sydney, I am so grateful for this turn my life has taken that enables me to have these exciting adventures with people I love!

I also resolve, as I did last year, to try to take a step back every once in a while and realize how fortunate I am to have so much – a fulfilling job, hilarious and meaningful friendships, a growing network of friends around the globe, and a wonderful relationship.
And perhaps, I will try to write a little more. Because self reflection is always more effective when it’s written down and I can look back on it months later and smile.

Here’s to 2011, which I hope is a year full of even more travel, self-discovery, and more defined direction in my career and personal life!

Looking back on this a couple weeks later, I'd like to make another tentative resolution to write in this blog more. It really helps me gain clarity on so many things.

2009: Year in Review

As I sit here in London Heathrow airport waiting to go back to my life in Boston, I realize that it is time for my “year in review” entry, which is now in its seventh year running…haha. I have kept this blog for over a year and a half now and it was especially wonderful to look back on my reflections on 2008 just now. I wrote about how my even years (04, 06, 08) have tended to be not the best and my odd years (03, 05, 07) have been fantastic. True to that pattern, 2009 has without a doubt been the best year of my life, despite serious family troubles and navigation of various relationships. It really made me smile to see the following:

“I've almost stopped believing that I am even capable of being romantic or knowing how to be in a relationship. My main resolution is to get that optimism back. I want to have faith that I can open myself to possibilities in 2009! And I know that this is going to be the best year ever. There are things that I am helpless to change, like the problems of those close to me, but there are things about my attitude and life that I am making resolutions about. The most important is to be more optimistic about the concept of love in general.”

And, almost creepily fast after writing those words, I ended up in a serious relationship. As confused as this made me at first, I gradually gave up some of my more selfishly independent ways for the vulnerability – but also true joy – that comes with love. Obviously, Andrew has become a crucial part of my life and is one of the main reasons this year has been so incredible. I am extremely grateful to him for restoring my faith in love and showing me how good a relationship can be, no matter what the distance, when there is ultimate trust, honest communication, and of course, lots of laughter.

Of course, the introduction of a relationship into my life meant figuring out a tricky balance act among the relationship, my own personal priorities, and of course my friends. I was disappointed and hurt by some friends’ reactions to my newfound status and pleasantly surprised by others. I realized how different my friendships are, even among my closest friends, and how to best navigate those differences. Throughout the year, I dealt with the pain of my family breaking apart and just tried to be a pillar of strength for them. And I learned how tough a long distance relationship can be. The goodbyes will probably never get less painful, but I am proud to say that I am the only person I know who actually genuinely enjoys some aspects of a (super) long distance relationship.

Moving on to the positives, of which there are of course much more, other highlights of the year include:
- Organizing LDOC and every valuable lesson that leadership role taught me
- Alyssa and I making our apartment at Duke such a fun and relaxing place
- Graduation!
- EVERYTHING about my trip all over Europe and Australia. The art, the beaches, the sun, the ruins, the segways, the hotels, the hostels, the mishaps, the excitement. Seriously, everything.
- The ultimate lifestyle of travel and leisure that then ensued from July to October, which included visits to San Francisco, Pennsylvania, New York City, Montreal, Boston, Nashville, Dallas, Arkansas, Durham, and of course Sydney again. I will not deny the fact that the life I led is for me pretty much my ideal. What could be better than traveling to new exciting places to see my friends and spend time with them? It has been so enlightening and fulfilling for me to see the different paths that those closest to me are taking. Everything is so full of promise right now and it’s very exciting to see what everyone is doing post-graduation!
- Moving to Boston and realizing that I can create an entire lifestyle on my own and be an actual adult that is capable of furnishing an apartment, budgeting, making money, finding a fantastic roommate, and moving entire dressers into my apartment by myself.
- Being able to show my exciting new life to Andrew in Boston and then seeing him a mere couple weeks later in London for Christmas and New Year’s along with my mom and brother


On that last note, it was wonderful to be in London again, graciously hosted yet again by Andrew’s amazing parents. The combining of families was just a wee bit stressful for me, but everything turned out fine. I got to see a bunch of new things around London, too, including the Camden Markets (biggest markets I have EVER been to, and so funky and eclectic!), the Churchill War Rooms, and the National Portrait Gallery. Yesterday, we got to go on a helicopter flight to visit the Smiths’ friends in the country, so that was a pretty fantastic start to 2010, to say the least. New Year’s Eve was amazing, too – a neighbor set off an absurd amount of fireworks just across the street, so it was like our own personal really extravagant show! It was really cool to watch the highlights of the decade on TV in London, because obviously they have a totally different idea of which things were important than America does.



It’s hard to believe that it’s a whole new decade, and these next few years are going to be instrumental in shaping my career and other key aspects of my life. (Although I suppose that argument could be made for the past decade as well.) 2010 is definitely not going to be as fun and carefree a year as 2009, because that’s basically literally not possible. Nevertheless, I am hoping that I will gain valuable knowledge, learn what a working life is really like, and manage to keep up my relationships with people by strategically planning travel on weekends and taking my vacation days. I resolve to continue to apply my sense of optimism to all aspects of my life and try to see the best side in everything, and to try not to complain about the little things as much and instead just appreciate the bigger picture and how much I am fortunate to have. My relationship and friendships are better than I ever could have hoped for, and I am so grateful for that!

Cheers for this next decade and whatever it may bring!

NYC (In more detail the second time around)

So, since I had really only been passing through and the previous weekend had mostly been devoted to Connecticut, I decided to go back to NYC last Wednesday with Sam, because this would be my last opportunity to just randomly be able to travel in the middle of the week in the middle of a workday. (And I snagged the mythical 1 dollar bus fare...how awesome is that?!) Abandoning my poor roommate again (I have promised to spend more time with her in the future haha), I eagerly headed back to the city with a lot of plans in place with various people. Wednesday night, I had the pleasure of seeing two Baldwins who graduated in '08 who I hadn't seen in a year and a half and my friend who reminds me a little of a nicer version of Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. Thus, he knows ALL the coolest places to go in the city and we ended up at a speakeasy called PDT (Please Don't Tell). The entrance is located in a little hot dog shop in a telephone booth. You have to pick up the telephone and then they will let you in, if you have a reservation of course. We managed to snag a corner table and spent a lovely couple hours sipping on extremely pretentious, expensive, and DELICIOUS cocktails while catching up on life. Seeing my Duke friends always results in the perfect mix of intellectual conversation and gossip, and I just had such a fantastic time.


On Thursday, I had plans to have lunch with my grandfather, who lives in the Upper West Side, so I ended up taking the train from Sam's place in Long Island City to Times Square and then just walking the 45 blocks from there because I felt like it, stopping in whatever cafes or stores caught my fancy along Broadway. For me, New York is no longer about doing the touristy stuff, but just walking around as much as possible and trying to uncover new adorable shops and eateries every time I go. I spent some nice time with my grandfather and then headed to the East Village for some gluttonous exploration. I had heard a lot about this genius chef David Chang and his amazing noodle bars and their offshoots, so I naturally had to go take a look at Milk Bar, which led to me logging some pretty serious cookie purchasing/eating time. Now, I have eaten a lot of cookies, but these cookies were honestly probably the best I have ever had. Their innovative combination of flavors (cornflakes, chocolate chips, and marshmallows? I THINK SO), utter freshness, and texture in general were just to die for. You know that saying that a lot of people live by and is pretty controversial: "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels?" Um, people, I respectfully disagree. Those cookies taste FAR better than skinny feels.

Fortunately, I had just had a few blissful bites and walked around the corner when I spotted 16 Handles, a frozen yogurt place that has 16 flavors of yogurt and you can make your own combination of yogurt flavors and put on as many toppings as you want, and then they weigh it and charge you by the ounce. (Take that, Pinkberry...this is SO much better.) So I put the cookies away for later and had some blissful frozen yogurt. By this time I was feeling kind of like a pig (albeit a happy one) so forced myself to keep walking even though I'd already walked for like 2 hours and went all the way to Chinatown in the drizzly rain to look around because I can never get enough of New York's Chinatown. Exhausted after all this walking, I finally headed back to Sam's in the early evening to change and rest for a bit and then went out for a late dinner with Tyla at Momofuku, which is the original David Chang noodle bar concept restaurant. It was absolutely fantastic and I was so excited she suggested it because it was the exact place I wanted to go! His version of pork buns is absolutely sublime...I have never tasted such a creative take on the pork bun, which is already one of my favorite Chinese/dim sum foods. YUM. So we had a lovely evening and then I headed back to Sam's for some quality pre-birthday time with him watching Modern Family, which he just got me into...such a funny show!

Friday was Sam's birthday, and I was so happy I could be with him on his 23rd. (I can not believe how old we are getting, by the way. Before we know it we will be 25...quarter life crisis time!) It was so beautiful in the morning that I was able to go running in a t-shirt and leggings, so that was delightful. Then I went out to lunch with my good Baldwin friends Ahsha and Liz, whom I absolutely adore seeing because the two of them are so different (involved in M&A and clinical psychology) but we all get along so well. I walked and talked with Liz for a while afterwards which was wonderful and then went to a yoga class with Sam in the East Village, which was pretty crazy. Firstly, it was the most crowded studio I have EVER seen - literally packed wall to wall with yoga mats. Secondly, this is a class full of NYU people and actors in general, so they all felt the need to express themselves quite frequently. Luckily Sam had warned me before that the class might be a little noisy, but I still could barely control my giggling when the moans and grunts (of pleasure? pain?) started. As I am used to doing yoga in silence and at most noisily exhaled breath, it was just a bit disconcerting...but certainly an amusing experience. I am totally obsessed with St. Marks Place and the East Village in general.

That night, we had a fantastic dinner and I got to meet all of Sam's theater friends over a lovely Italian meal, and then we went to a wine bar in the East Village where we sat under heat lamps outside and watched the world go by. Boston pretty much shuts down at 1 or 2 am, but in NYC, things are as busy at 1 in the morning as they are at 1 in the afternoon. It's pretty incredible. It was just a wonderful day and evening and per usual, it made me really happy to be with Sam.

And then today, I got to see Ian and Shea's spacious place in Jersey City and then have Dim Sum with them in Chinatown in a super busy restaurant full of hundreds of people and carts wheeling everywhere, which was so satisfying. (I love dim sum done BIG.) Then we wandered around Spring Street doing a little shopping and then stumbled across a miniature cupcake place called Baked by Melissa. This was no joke the cutest cupcakes I have ever seen in my ENTIRE life. This is why I am obsessed with New York. Where else can you find 80 different frozen yogurt places, speakeasies, about a gazillion wine bars, and a tiny place that can sell 9 different flavors of tiny filled cupcakes for a dollar each (and they are literally the size of a quarter)?


In case you can't tell, New York makes me really happy. Maybe it's the fact that I was born in Manhattan that makes me feel inexplicably tied to this city - every time I arrive I automatically feel filled with a kind of joyously hectic energy. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out if I lived in NYC would I continue to feel the same joy that I feel pretty much every minute walking around the crowded streets. I know that I could not live the same way in NYC that I travel in NYC - I would become obese and broke (and the broke would probably happen before the obese, due to phenonemon like the cupakes described above). But I have SO much fun visiting there that it's hard for me to imagine becoming frustrated or overwhelmed while living there. I endlessly query my friends about the effect the city has had on them and reviews are mixed, so obviously, there is only one way to really find out if the city is for me, and for the time being at least, I am firmly tied to Boston. I was very sad to leave today, though. I do love that city, and it is like nowhere else in the world.


View of Manhattan from Ian and Shea's apartment!

Now it's back to NoVA for a while for a week filled of interesting issues, and then the job starts so soon! But at least I had yet another week full of fun, food, and fantastic friends!

Stamford-NYC-Boston

Since the last time I posted, I have done quite a bit of traveling and my roommate has moved in! The weekend after I last posted, I began to feel both slightly bored and lonely, which are two feelings that I pretty much NEVER feel, so I planned a lot of travel to get myself out of my minuscule un-peppy time. Then that Sunday Chelsea moved in, and even though she actually had to start work the next day, which is crazy, we spent the evenings during the week getting to know each other and eating dinner together, which was great. The apartment really is far too big for just one person, and it's so nice to have company - after the whole roommate crisis, I am so relieved that everything has worked out so well and I am so happy with my situation now. We had our first major bonding experience when we went to IKEA in the middle of the week with a ZipCar pickup truck (yes, I drove a pickup truck haha), but we got there only about 40 minutes before it closed, so we basically had to do an utter mad dash through the store to grab the things we wanted. The apartment is now almost furnished though, although I would still say it is a work in progress because there are very few decorations in the main living area. It's amazing how much effort making an apartment looks nice takes...and it also takes such a long time! But now that I have been there for a whole month, it definitely feels like a wonderful home.

Anyway, on Friday the 13th, I began my semi-epic travel adventure which is only just ending now. I took a bus to NYC and then caught the train from Grand Central to Stamford, which ended up taking like 7 hours, but was a good 50 dollars cheaper than taking a train straight there, so since I am actually trying to be careful about what I spend, that was the better option. The somewhat annoyingly long trip was of course worth it, though, to see Alyssa and Dave and their super cute yuppie apartment in Connecticut! Alyssa and Dave are one of those couples that are so cute it just makes one happy to be in their presence. We made sweet potato gnocchi on Friday night, which were utterly delicious, and on Saturday they showed me the general cuteness of Connecticut. It is obviously pretty suburban, but there are some very cute streets and a lot of really high quality restaurants. Also, Connecticut has the greatest supermarket of ALL TIME. It is called Stew Leonards and it is actually hard to describe. It is utterly massive and has free samples of EVERYTHING. A lot of things are made right in front of you, from air popped rice cakes to popcorn to apple cider doughnuts. But the best part is definitely the animatronic animals and vegetables and dairy products that sing and dance as you make your way through the store. AMAZING. Seriously, we had the best time in this grocery store.



We also went to see 2012, which is the first movie I've seen in theaters for a really long time, and it was totally ridiculous but very entertaining a great rain to spend a rather drab and rainy afternoon. Then we went out to dinner at this place called Chocopologie which was obviously totally incredible. I am unabashedly passionate about my total addiction to chocolate, and the different truffles there were really fantastic and inventive. Their normal food was great too, but I mean, it was really all about the dessert. :) And also the company of course, which was wonderful. Alyssa and Dave were the first people to visit me in Boston so I was happy to be able to return the favor, and it's always wonderful to spend time with people who are so perfect for each other!

That Sunday, I took the train back to NYC, where I had brunch with Sasha and Irem, which was great. I love catching up with Duke people all over the city - it's so interesting to see where everyone is at six months after graduation. (You'd think I might feel bad/guilty that everyone else has been working super hard while I have been playing and traveling...and yet I do not at all. Oh well.) Also, the pure abundance of restaurants and excessiveness in general of the city never fails to bring a smile to my face and fill me with lots of energy. Then I spent the afternoon with Sam and went on a run with him because it was utterly gorgeous out (yay for winter not happening yet, by the way...that is totally awesome), and then we went to coffee with a friend from high school who I hadn't seen in ages so that was really fun, especially because the Washington Square area is impossibly full of cute coffee and tea places. Then I managed to have a quick dinner with Ian and Shea (soooo many people in NYC now, aahhh!) before I met up with Sam again and stole him away with me to go back to Boston!

For those of you who don't know, Sam and I have known each other since the age of three and talk pretty much every day, but getting to actually spend this much time with him in person is a special rarity. We have so much fun together but also each had our own things to do and other friends to see in the other's city, so that was great too. When we first came back to Boston on Sunday night I have to say I was embarassed for my city because it was literally completely deserted, and to a New Yorker, that is just a poor showing. But I was so happy that Sam ended up really loving the city. It was only after I came back from NYC that I realized just how different the two cities are. After being in the utter craziness and enormity that is New York, Boston seems tiny and tame. NYC is the cool, glitzy, popular kid; Boston is the more nerdy but earnest kid, with a charm that grows on you. :) (But I will not deny that New York is the cooler city, of course.) I took him to some of the touristy places and Mike's Pastry of course, and also cooked for him.

The craziest thing we did in Boston, though, was go to see this show called Sleep No More. It is done by this British theater company and basically combines the story of Macbeth with Hitchcock-like techniques to form a interactive (and totally creepy/terrifying) theater experience. It took place in a four story abandoned schoolhouse that we were free to roam around. Everyone had to put on a creepy white mask and you weren't allowed to talk. None of the actors talked either; they just expressed themselves through dance. The idea was that you could explore all the rooms of the house (all of which were elaborately done - insanely good sets!) and then follow whichever characters interested you. Unfortunately, because I do not have the theater experience that Sam does, I ended up not following any of the main characters and thus had a rather boring experience compared to Sam's...haha. Still, it was utterly amazing and unlike anything I have ever seen before - so crazy and cool!

Okay this is getting super long, so the second part of this post, which is trip to NYC part two, I will put up later!

Counting Down, Classical Music, Calculations, and Cynicism

Counting down: I have 19 days left until my job begins. I can't believe how fast the time has passed! Obviously, I have to make the most of my time, so I'm spending it decorating and catching up with friends and going to the gym and just planned two trips to Connecticut and NYC...so excited! Each day doesn't seem to go by that fast, but as a whole I feel like life is just whizzing by and my days of "freedom", so to speak, are almost up. I know that I am now officially the last of all my friends to start a real job, but rather than feeling lazy or bored, I am just grateful for all this time I've had to discover more about myself and the world.

Classical Music: I went down to Virginia this past weekend for a fantastic night of classical music at Strathmore, one of my favorite venues (I got to go to the opening event way back in 2005...seems so long ago now). It was a Bach single concerto, a Brahms double concerto, and a Beethoven triple concerto, so a very cool and unique mix of music, with utterly fantastic soloists who I happened to be able to hang out with afterwards. :) It is such a joy for me to be able to talk with soloists who tour the world for a living, compare views on music and travel and life, and see what that kind of lifestyle is like. (As many of you know, I am endlessly fascinated by what a touring artist has to be capable of to travel so much...and although they are endlessly adored, when it comes down to it, it seems like it actually is just a lot of time alone in a hotel...although I still think it is way glamorous, haha.) It was an amazing evening and great also to be back in NoVA for a few days to see people like Lauren and Shea and hang out with my family as much as I could. Now I find myself practicing every day and listening to classical music all the time...I went to visit Will in Exeter, NH the other day (such a tiny cute town in the middle of nowhere!), and listened to classical music on the train ride there and back and happily admired the gorgeous fall foliage. It was so relaxing and fulfilling.

Calculations: This month marks the first month where I am officially tracking absolutely every dollar I spend and putting it into categories. This is an interesting yet sobering activity. I enjoy Excel so much that when I decided to plan these little trips to New York I then made a spreadsheet of all possible bus and train options and combinations, before realizing that the most I could gain from this activity was saving approximately 6 dollars. Even so, it's a good habit to get into, and it will be very interesting to see the categories that the most money goes to.

Cynicism: I have recently had a few thought-provoking conversations with close friends about the nature of long-term relationships in general that has led me to some confusing thoughts and questioning of love in general. We are at a time in our lives when we long to meet "the one", and yet when we do, many of us then regret it and wish we had 4-5 more years to look around and "just make sure". Everyone has a different outlook on whether humans are meant to be monogomous or not, or if someone cheats should he/she tell his/her partner, or if open relationships really can be okay. Sometimes it is disturbing to me, though, as someone who has gone from being very cynical to very open to the possibility of real love, that my friends can be so negative about romantic ideals, whether they are in serious relationships or not. If you want a relationship to work, and it is meant to be, then I believe both people will FIGHT to make it work. Love is not easy. Physical distance comes between people all the time, and in my opinion, geographic distance from someone is about a million times better than emotional distance. All that being said, though, I am still not convinced that there is just one "right" person for everyone - I easily could buy that each person could be happy with three or four different people for the rest of one's life.

Just some musings from a Thursday night...going to bed now. Or maybe to curl up in my super sweet Lovesac with a book while listening to Beethoven sonatas!

Happiness in Independence

I have had a really fantastic past few days, and I can't express how good it feels to be living here on my own in Boston! This past weekend was amazing. Alyssa and Dave came to visit, and it was so wonderful to get to see her after such a long time. They are also probably one of the cutest couples I have ever known and so perfectly suited to be with each other, so it always makes me really happy to see them together and now that they live in Connecticut, I am going to be able to see them fairly frequently! I showed them all around the North End on Saturday and we got tons of pastries (yessss...every time a friend visits is an excuse for me to get cookies at Mike's Pastry, which has the most divine pistachio macaroons I have ever had in my entire life.) We went out to an adorable little restaurant on Newbury Street in Back Bay in the evening, and an AMAZING brunch at this place called North Street Grille in the morning on Sunday. Seriously, I am taking every single person who ever comes to visit me on the weekend to this place...it is that good.

So all that was wonderful, and then my weekend was made even better by the fact that by the end of the day, I had worked things out with the roommate situation! Her name is Chelsea, she went to Dartmouth, and we found each other on Craigslist, which is proof that yes, Craigslist actually can work. (And I got the best furniture off it too, so there, all you CL haters and harbingers of CL death and doom.) She moves in in a few days, and I am soooo relieved that I was able to get the situation resolved in the nick of time. But at the same time, it is been unbelievably great to totally have the apartment to myself these past couple of weeks. I forgot how happy being alone makes me.

That being said, though, I have been way more social this week and it has been so much fun...I got to see Alec and Caitlin (basically my only Duke friends here) on Monday, which was awesome, and my good friend Andrea from Duke is visiting right now. I love showing people the apartment and Boston in general, because I already feel extremely connected to the city. Last night, Andrea and I went out and had a great time - I always end up in fun situations and meeting all sorts of people and talking to strangers when I am with her! It's interesting how being in a relationship affects my behavior now when I go out. I have never been a partier and always felt awkward with male/female games and flirtation...it's just never been my area of expertise. Now that I am in a relationship and feel so comfortable with it and myself, I find chatting with people to be easier, I suppose almost because I am not worried about "messing up" or being awkward...haha.

I won't lie, I feel like I am living the dream right now...the whole city feels like it is right at my fingertips, and I love being able to explore on my own and with friends. Today, I went to a spin class with Andrea at yet another gym, and then went to the Haymarket "farmers" market where I got 8 apples, 4 oranges, 4 peppers, raspberries, scallions, butternut squash, tomatoes, lettuce, baby carrots, broccoli, and green beans for 10 dollars. Yes, that's right. Then I danced around listening to the Beatles in my kitchen while making some pumpkin bread to bring to Virginia this weekend, and the smell filled the apartment and made me think of fall and cinnamon and happy things...not to be too cliche here but this is really how I feel. :)

Want to feel like this too? Come visit me here! I still have a month before the job starts!